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How To Get Your Ex Back - 4 Don'ts
Toby Spillman
If you've just split up, now is a dangerous period for the future of your relationship. What you do in the next weeks and months could be the life or death of your relationship with your partner. Here are 3 things you definitely must not do.
- Don't phone your ex. This might seem to be nuts, but it will only drive them away even further. A series of telephone calls every few minutes of the day will only drive them further away. This is the last thing you want to do. You have to give your ex time alone to think about your time together. They will be thinking of the bad times and good times at this point, but harassing cell phone calls will only have them focus on the bad and reinforce the decision to break up.
- Don't be needy. You couldn't make things much worse if you tried. You must appear fine with the decision and even unconcerned. This is a positive way to start to get your ex back. Seeming like an emotionally needy person now will put too much pressure on your ex to look after you when they will want space to think about their own needs.
- Don't beg them to come back. However genuine your feelings are, please do all you can to avoid this as it will only have a negative result and you will not get your ex back this way.
- Don't rely on fate to bring you back together. Relying on the premise that "if we were meant to be together...." is hopeless. So, do not phone your ex and try to turn the taps off on your emotions just after a break-up. It is now that you must be strong to prepare to get your ex back. Use this time in more productive ways and you will win the day and save your relationship.
Toby Spillman is a relationship counsellor who treats all kinds of partnership problems. When he is not helping others he likes table tennis, wine and travelling. He recommends this resource on how to get your ex back.
Article submitted Thursday, September 11, 2008
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