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Losing Everything through Online Dating Scams
Ray Darken
The latest way for women to lose their houses as well as their hearts, is the Nigerian internet dating scam. This little money spinner targets the naive lonely woman looking for love and involves men who supposedly live or work in Nigeria. These cybernet lovers are then hitting up these women for vast amounts of money in ridiculously short periods of time.
Online dating scams have always been around. While there are desperately lonely people there are always going to be unscrupulous operators targeting them. However, the Nigerian scam has one major difference. These guys are getting these unsuspecting women to hand over life savings, mortgage their homes, and take out loans. Many of these online bandits are successfully ripping women off in just a few weeks after contact.
You might think it's absurd to hand over your mortgage to a perfect stranger, but people do it. So, how to know if you are about to lose your home? Any new love who starts sad stories about dying mothers, needing cash for immigration lawyers or visas, or wanting the cash for the plane fare to meet with you should be treated with extreme caution.
There are plenty of ways to stall any monetary commitment - state your sympathy with his current position and announce your terribly poor cash-flow position. Make something up. You have lost your job, you need root canal, your cat needs chemo, you have a tax bill, whatever. Tell them you have a bad credit rating, anything. If the emails abruptly stop, you know you have just gotten rid of a financial parasite who was only going to empty out your bank account.
Don't make yourself a target for these online scammers. When you are starting a new online romance be careful what you say. Do you really think that a potential partner should ask if you own your own house...no there isn't. Don't be too specific about vacation destinations. The fact that you have household help, your children are in boarding school, and your ex-husband is filthy rich, are all details that others do not need to know right away. These sorts of little clues immediately tell someone else that you may have plenty of dollars to throw in their direction. Use some discretion. Do you want someone to love you for you or your bank account?
Anyone wanting a plane fare to meet you should be approached with a subtle, "how about I come and meet you?". A real potential partner will be OK with this but a cowardly scammer will be very unhappy.
Someone announcing their love for you in the time that it takes to clean your teeth, should be viewed suspiciously. Do not allow your heart to rule your finances. Would you give your money to a stranger? Would you take out a bank loan for a guy you have just met in a bar?
If you are going to allow yourself to be a victim of an internet dating scam, then ensure you do not part with any more of your cash than you can afford to lose. How much money can you really afford to wave good bye to? How much of a loan can you really afford to repay? This is the amount you should be sending to your new love in Nigeria. At least then you will only be heart broken and not dead broke as well.
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Dating and relationship expert Billy Baker has over two decades experience while providing advice to his growing list of subscribers. He has provided more information and some tips on this page about Dating Scams .
Article submitted Thursday, September 18, 2008
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