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Divorce Mediation & Parenting Plans: The First Step in the Process
Joseph Dillon
Equitable Mediation Services
As part of our continuing series on divorce mediation with Equitable Mediation Services here in central New Jersey, this installment will focus on those individuals entering divorce mediation who have children. Sadly, children are often the victims of divorce both financially and emotionally. Too many times I see people going through a divorce and forgetting that while they may no longer be husband and wife, they are still mom and dad. In order to ensure the child is not left out in the cold, the first step in the divorce mediation process we take is to design a Parenting Plan.
The Parenting Plan will outline the way each soon to be ex-spouse interacts with both their children and each other. It can be as broad or as detailed as necessary and to what level of detail we go into is a judgment is usually made when I as your mediator get a better sense on three things:
- Your ability to communicate with each other
- Your willingness to cooperate with each other
- The level of conflict each of you has over your divorce
The reason I begin divorce mediation with the Parenting Plan is that I feel it is the one area of the divorce proceedings that most likely, both parents can agree on. When asked, what parent would say they don't want to do what's in the best interest of their child?
The Parenting Plan covers a wide variety of topics including, but not limited to:
- Residence: Whose home will be designated the "primary residence" for the child(ren)?
- Regular Weekly Schedule: What is the pattern of time your child(ren) will spend with each of you during an ordinary week?
- Holiday and Vacation Schedules: How will your child(ren)'s time be arranged for on School or Religious holidays or Summer vacations?
- Transportation: Who will be responsible for transportation of the child(ren) between your homes?
- Health: Who will make medical decisions on behalf of your child?
- Education: Who will make decisions regarding school placements, special programs, acceleration or retention?
- Religion: What responsibilities will each of you have for the religious education of your child(ren)?
- Emergency Plans: What will be done if there is a last minute change in a parent's schedule?
- Other Communication: How will regular communication between each of you regarding your child(ren) occur?
Article submitted Wednesday, October 08, 2008
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